Saturday, February 28, 2009

Just Love These Two

If you can believe it, Jen and Skyler both have the exact same birthday! We decided to get together for it last week, but it seemed like someone was always sick, so finally yesterday was the day that worked for everyone! It was so good to see them! We hadn't seen them since before Christmas! We decided that we wouldn't go that long again! We just missed each other too much :) They couldn't believe how much Dylan had grown and he showed off all of his new tricks, which include: Putting EVERYTHING in his mouth (we talkin' everything), he also loves to squeal, jump, and his new trick is shaking his head "no!" I think the last one is the cutest one! It was fun to sit and talk about what was new with them and to hear how good they were doing. We wish nothing but the best for these two. We just love them with all of our hearts and are forever grateful for what they have shared with us. LOVE YOU GUYS!!
Of coarse I also love these two! It's fun to see them interact and play with each other!! They're already little buddies!

Friday, February 27, 2009

So Lucky...

I feel so lucky to have a husband who is willing to sacrifice his own needs to fill mine. Yesterday I officially called into work sick for the first time since I have started working there. On Wednesday night I started getting a scratchy throat and by Thursday morning I had the aches from the tip of my head to the bottom of my toes. It even hurt to blink. So when Brett got home from work, even though he had only gotten less than 4 hours of sleep the night before, he stepped in and took care of the kids so I could sleep my aches away. He even took Haylee out of the house to get a few groceries and visit Grandma and Grandpa at the bakery so I could nap with Dylan. Two hours later I had to call and say it was OK for them to come home! He then made dinner and stayed up to help put the kids down (which was luckily 8:00) and then he hit the hay! A bath and 10 more hours of sleep later I finally feel fine. I don't remember the last time I felt that weak or sick! I just wanted to give a little shout out to my hubby and thank him for taking care of me and the kids even though he would have rather been the one sleeping :) Love you Sweetie!!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Bouncin' off the Walls

Is it just me or do you get to a point in the winter where you are going crazy because you've been indoors way too much??? It doesn't help that Haylee has been a little under the weather for almost a month now, but she is on the mend! To break the winter blues Haylee, Dylan, and I went to a place called Bouncin' off the Walls in Sandy! I can't believe I have never heard of this place. It was only $5 for Haylee and we had a blast. We were way excited when Meghan, Jaxon, and Beka invited us to go! We actually went on Wednesday and Haylee is still saying "Was that so fun?? The slide and jump!" Dylan even was a good sport and let me jump with him and go down a really big slide! We are definitely going back for more fun! We'll have to plan a play date, anyone down??

We also had a fun visit from Vicky, which is Skyler's mom. For those of you who don't know, Skyler is Dylan's birth father. It was really good to see her since we haven't since placement. She is such an amazing woman and I am so glad that I can consider her a friend and family! Brett and I have actually asked Vicky to hold Dylan during our temple sealing in a week and a half. It just seemed like that made sense when we started to talk about who should do it this time. We just know that she was a great support to Jen and Skyler when they were considering adoption and for that we are eternally grateful.
And who can forget bath time?? Haylee has always loved bath time and seems to enjoy it even more now that she has a bath buddy. She doesn't even seem to mind when Dylan squirts her with his little hose :) It will be nice when Dylan can sit by himself. It's becoming quite challenging to bathe this little guy. It wiggles and kicks and wiggles and kicks while you are trying to bathe him! I need a shower after we are done because it's such a workout!

And last but not least, there's nap time. Haylee is sometimes stubborn and won't take a nap with Brett while I am at work. So, sometimes she gets so tired that she just crashes on the floor. Well, last night I get a text from Brett with a picture titled "Best friends take a cat nap." How cute is that??

Well, those are just a few things we have been doing recently to keep us from bouncin' off the walls at home until Mr. Sun comes back and we can play outside!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Our Lovey Dovey Day

For the past 5 years Brett and I have always celebrated Valentines Day either the week before or the week after so that we don't have to wait in crazy lines at restaurants and spend our time together with everyone else in the valley. So, we're going out next week!
For Valentines Day yesterday we spent it with our kids at the U of U Basketball game watching the Utes cream Air Force and my brother hit a lay up, a free throw, and a three pointer for the University of Utah Credit Union for $300 during a time out! He hit all 3 by the way in 15 seconds. I was a pretty proud sister! After the game Brett and I got Texas Roadhouse Take-Out and just relaxed at home with the kiddos. I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else!

Jake and Jared w/ the $300 certificate

Jared and Haylee- Haylee just loves her Uncles!

Our cute Fam. Dylan's Shirt says "Bee Mine" 2-14 and Haylee's says "Daddy's 'lil Heart Breaker"

Our sweet little Dylan- he has THE most beautiful brown eyes!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Draper Temple

Yesterday our family had the opportunity to attend the Draper Temple Open House with our good friends the Ballards. We decided to take our kids along, which I was a little hesitant to do at first. I wasn't sure how quiet they would be and I didn't want to disturb the reverence inside the temple. But, we brought them along and I am glad we did. The temple was so beautiful and I was grateful to share it with my two beautiful children. Haylee was very quiet and only had a little tiny break down when she didn't want to walk anymore. She loved seeing all of the pictures of Jesus and would say "hi Jesus" to all of the paintings we passed. I told her that we were in Jesus' house and she would ask "where Jesus go?" Then on the way out, there is one more picture of him as you come down a staircase and she made sure to tell him "bye bye Jesus." She also loved the brides room and I told her- that's where the princesses get ready to get married. So for the rest of the time if we saw a light fixture that resembled the ones in the brides room she would say "princess lights!"
It was also a neat experience to walk through the Celestial Room with Brett and my two kids, because the spirit testified to me that families are forever. I thought that was pretty neat considering the temple has not been dedicated yet. Our tour ended in a sealing room where my heart wanted to leap out of my chest! Just knowing that we would be back at the temple in 2 1/2 weeks to have Dylan sealed to our family for time and all eternity brought tears to my eyes. Brett made the observation that if we go to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House, then Dylan will have been in 3 temples before the age of one. That has to be some sort of record right? I am just personally so grateful for temples and for the sealing power that has been restored upon the earth. I recognize that this is the way that my children can be sealed to Brett and I so that we can be an eternal family. It's as if they were born unto us. I can't think of anything sweeter.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Infertility Etiquette/Education

Lately I have ran into a lot of friends/acquaintances that have been dealing with Infertility and have been asking me about adoption. I usually refer them to my blog so they can see my dang cute kids and see how happy adoption has made my husband and me. Then I give them the r house blog address because that's where I go to for my infertility support. If you haven't checked it out yet, you need to. Mrs. R is amazing and seems to know exactly what to post. There's also a lot of neat links and tons of support, since we all need it.

the r house button

For some reason infertility has been on my mind a lot for the past few months. For some reason I thought that adoption would heal the pain of infertility, like magic! I have found that it hasn't fixed the fact that I can't bear my own children or healed that part of my heart. But it has made me a mother, which is something I have always wanted so badly. On Sunday I ventured on to the r house blog and read an article that really helped me and hope that it will help some of you that are dealing with infertility or help those who are acquainted with someone who is infertile (like me) to have a better understanding of what to say or what not to say. I know I have friends and family who are a great support to me and for the most part are very respectful, but sometimes I wonder if because I am a mother they forget that I am still dealing with infertility. I am for the most part very forgiving of the ignorant, but it doesn't hurt to educate them once in awhile...

Infertility Etiquette by Vita Alligood as posted on RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association to read the whole article, click on the title and you will be taken there. Otherwise, here are some of Mrs. R's and my favorite parts:

Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year.
Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.
Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.
Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone?Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting.
Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?"
There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option. Here are a few of them.
IVF is Expensive with Low Odds
One cycle of IVF is very expensive. With all of the hype in the news, many people assume that IVF is a sure thing when, in fact, the odds of success for each cycle are low. Most couples cannot afford to try for one month, much less for multiple times. Considering that it also costs a significant amount of money to adopt a baby, many couples opt for the "sure thing" rather then risking their money on much lower odds.
IVF is Physically Taxing
Undergoing IVF treatments is very rigorous. The woman must inject shots into her thigh daily to cause her ovaries to superovulate. The drugs used are very taxing on the woman, and they can cause her to be become extremely emotional.
Don't Play Doctor
Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an "expert" on the subject.You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject.The problem comes when you try to "play doctor" with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about.
Don't Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" are not funny, and they only irritate your friends. Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."
I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
It would also be helpful if your conversations weren't focused on your pregnancy and childbirth. It's like talking about having a happy marriage with someone who has been divorced. They just simply can't relate and would rather talk about something else.
Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret.Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.
Don't Push Adoption (Yet)
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents.However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose.You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.

So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load.
Here are a few ideas.
Let Them Know That You Care
Remember Them on Mother's Day
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
You may be thinking that some of these suggestions are a little extreme, but when Brett and I were childless and going through treatments, we heard it all and sometimes still do hear tidbits... Thanks for reading :)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Haylee's 1st Dance Class

I wish I could sit here and post about how cute Haylee's first dance class was and that it was fun to watch her dance and play with the other girls in her class, but she did the exact opposite. I think I should say that I had my first dance class yesterday and held Haylee while I participated :) Needless to say, Haylee was a little nervous and didn't want me to put her down the entire time. Before going I talked it up BIG time and tried to get her so excited. My mom even came over and brought her an official dance bag that she made just for her. She looked so cute in her leotard, tights, ballet shoes, and braids! It was a dream come true for me! I have been excited to take my little girl to her very first dance lesson since before I even had a little girl! Well, when we got there and Haylee saw how many people were there and heard all the noise, she got major anxiety and wouldn't let me put her down. So Mommy danced with the teacher and other girls while Haylee sat on my lap :) She did actually let me put her down towards the end so that she could jump over a block, but I had to hold her hand the entire time. I am hoping she will warm up to it eventually! She has her class until June! Oh well, I guess I have always wanted to go back and take a dance class, so here's my opportunity!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

5 months!

Brett and I finally got around to taking Dylan's 4 month pictures (ok, so 5 month pictures. last month was a busy one!) yesterday and they turned out pretty dang cute! Do you ever just love your kids so much and think they are so cute that you could actually eat them all up? That's how it is for me when I look at these pictures. I just love this little guy with all my heart!